War of the Second Coalition

"i just checked hakoniwa - u guys suck" -anonwaha

The War of The Second Coalition was a war between OTAKU, accompanied by AGGRO and OTAKU affiliated islands, against HAPI. The war started on turn 686 as a surprise attack on Suigintou Island by OTAKU and AGGRO, and an attack on Chuu Island by the Gaijin Otaku Pact islands and Analogue Dynasty Island. Unlike the War of the First Coalition, which saw a long and drawn out war of attrition, the War of the Second Coalition was won very quick by the Coalition forces as they kicked so much ass. The Attack was the largest attack in the Archipelago's history.

RESULT: Disputed.
When the moderation had altered the game by splitting it into two archipelagos, it had drastic effects on the coordination and morale of the Coalition(some of which were already having trouble coordinating on account of their retardation), about half of whom left hakoniwa and heyuri altogether(but about 3 of these were only there for hako). If the game had went untampered, the Coalition would not have lost it's pace and half it's members, ergo they believed that they would have almost undoubtedly come out with a victory. Because of this, the Coalition claims victory since if it had went fair and untampered then it was have been a WINwar.HAPI and friends would claim that altering and breaking up the game had nothing to do with the war, but mostly because it didn't affect them near as far as it effected the Coalition.

Chuu Island was targeted by mostly V1 Rockets. This event was known as "The Blitz of Chuu"

OTAKU forces celebrate victory after securing the capital of Suigintou Island, shortly after their abandonment on turn 690

The War started on turn 686, and these were the HAPI islands on turn 689.

• 
  Chuu Island on turn 689
• 
  Shotacon Island on turn 689
• 
  Gensokyo Island on turn 689
• 
  Suigintou Island on turn 689

As OTAKU took their victory as granted, Gensokyo Island finally logged into his almost-destroyed PvP island around turn 692, and alongside Chuu Island, they starting fighting a 2 VS 7 war. Multiple enemy islands were strong enough to be able to fire over 10 missiles a turn, and all of them had more funds then Gensokyo and Chuu combined. By this point, Suigintou has already abandoned his island, and this was a few turns before they were able to receive Shotacon's financial aids. With their superior military wits, and against all odds, they turned the situation to their favor. Around turn 715, while all OTAKU members were finally in miserable conditions, help from various other islands arrived to fight alongside the remaining HAPI members.

Here are some message logs that demonstrate how the sentiment of the war changed over time:

• tachi > feel free to surrender (2024/3/10-10:10:28)
• Hachikuji-san > do u feel like surrendering (2024/3/12-09:50:22)
  
  • kaguya > no, and I won't accept your surrender (2024/3/12-10:34:09)
• riro > its dead, it means nothing (2024/3/15-00:12:33)
  
• Upchuck > Yes, this is a sad state of affairs for us (2024/3/15-00:37:19)
  
• tachi > a 'ceasefire' if you will? (2024/3/15-00:56:29)

What actually happened: The fuck up

After the major victories for OTAKU (about 4 turns after the start of the war), all of the Coalition got extremely intoxicated on happiness and considered that there would be no more need for communicating for coordinated attacks and no more need for saving up money, and decided to dump all their funds by firing maximum amount of missiles on useless tiles on HAPI islands for shits and giggles. Not long after, anonwaha split up the archipelago, and instantly reverted the fun spirit of the Coalition into a depressive low, causing a big portion of the Coalition to just quit the game, while the rest were in disarray or just too depressed to care where they targeted. There was still no regard for funds though, so all the savings on the islands were still being burned. During this time, Gensokyo and Chuu played smart, now that anonwaha had used his magic to make the Coalition suicidal, and eventually came back and won it as the Coalition had wasted all their funds and participating friends to be effective. HAPI was joined by 1129 Cows, Jiyulando, and Secret Island halfway through the war, who provided many aids and missiles.

What you should learn from this

OTAKU: NEVAR get intoxicated when shooting missiles because you'll forget to ask HQ where to target and you won't know WTF you're doing.

HAPI & friends: NEVAR give up, because you never know how many mistakes your enemy might make, nor how poorly organized they are. ALWAYS ally with respectable and well-established islands instead of random n00b islands, because the latter have no idea what they're doing and will soon get bored and leave.

Combatants involved in the war

OTAKU	HAPI
The OS-tan Shogunate Turn 720	Chuu Island
Iopsd / らき☆ぱらだいす Island Turn 737	Suigintou Island Turn 690
Shinobu Island Turn 725	Shotacon Island
Baka ice fairy Island Turn 719 (seized and abandoned by HIA)	Gensokyo Island
Chrono Island Turn 717 (also in AGGRO)	Soylent Island Turn 696
Analogue Dynasty Island Turn 738	Republican state of nan Island (since turn 717)
Gaijin Otaku Pact	Affiliates
Kitchen Island Turn 724	1129 Cows Island (since turn 715)
Nigrajungle Island Turn 720	Jiyulando Island (since turn 716)
Homestuck Island Island	Secret Island (since turn 718)
AGGRO
Europe but as a Island Turn 734 (Nazi Penmany)
Affiliates
Parch Moon Island Turn 729
Daydream Nation Island
Compton Island Turn 734
Hamekuji Island Turn 732
OTAKU Rebels Island Turn 732

Bold denotes islands who are considered the respective leaders/commanders of their side.
indicates the island was destroyed.
indicates the island was abandoned.