People's Republic of Shotacon Island
The People's Republic of Shotacon Island was abandoned on turn 243 after Emperor Yakuruto concluded his island was cursed after a long series of disasters. The Shotas fled to another island and founded the Lolislamic State of Shotacon Island on the same turn. It is said they all secretly love nigras and want to send them money and nudes.
The People's Republic of Shotacon Island (or Shotacon Island, for short) is revered among the Heyuri Archipelago as a leading power in military and agriculture. Much of its early history is lost to time, but historians agree it was founded some time before the Great Upchuckian War. Shotacon Island is a member of HAPI, and has close relations with fellow HAPI members DESU Island and Chuu Island. Closer than we'd like to admit~
Before joining HAPI, we were primarily limited to giving AIDS to our one and only ally at the time, Shota Empire Island. Although its absentee king was a regrettably major reason for its decay, it was hastened by the mass theft of their valuable resources, most of which was graciously gifted and supplied by our own hard working citizens. This was done by the two-faced Upchuck Island. Initially, we were forgiving and simply asked for compensation for the food that was stolen. But as expected of such thieves, they ignored the request for aid and left the Empire to starve.
True to their name, Upchuckians are mere waste, and of little use to any society. Hence, Upchuck Newchuck any island who claims to be the successor to Upchuck Island is considered our sworn enemy, and any attempts for them to rise up shall be met with us swiftly stamping them back into the dirt where they belong.
There is no such thing as the Newchuck Genocide. It does not exist, and any questions concerning this supposed 'atrocity' are to be ignored.
Shota Empire Island
Some time after the founding of our glorious nation, explorers discovered the long forgotten mother country from which our ancestors hailed: Shota Empire Island. Though they were founded on a monarchist government with aims of conquering the world, our government saw a potential ally in them, and put aside our biases. There was peace for a time, with our state providing food to the poor of the empire while their leader was in exile. This peace was not to last, as the evil Upchuckians would soon commit the aforementioned heist.
Politics
Although most islands are either monarchies or democracies, ours is a republic with one man at the helm who aims to give his people what they want: SHOTAS! There is only one party, because one party is all that is required for a glorious republic such as ours to prosper. Never mind these silly 'two party systems' which only lead to more strife and drama. Any foolish citizen with dreams of one day becoming a 'politician' should consult the nearest officer to be shot educated on why that is not necessary. Our supreme leader founded this nation so all men could fap to shota pr0ns, so no one should question his authority!
The Cleansing of Upchuck
On Turn 167, DESU Island requested permission from Chuu Island's representative to open fire on Newchuck Island's holdings. Citing the raids on Secret Island carried out against them while their leader was on vacation as casus belli, DESU artillery had mounted in preparation for attack. Because it was an undeclared war, and Newchuck Island had already been struggling with a little baby economy, enemy missiles were not able to make any progress against the DESU offense. Eager to get back at them for their previous crimes against the Shota Empire and their flippant refusals to accept a peace, our nation soon joined the war effort.
Overwhelmed by a war on two fronts, the 'Great' Upchuckian King decided to whine like a little bitch. Feeling pity, our glorious leader decided to relent and generously offer him a truce; pay 2000M in cash and our involvement in the war would cease. Predictably, the King would have none of it and threw two missiles back at our lands. We responded in kind by dropping a bomb on his missile base, lowering the capacity for their island to make war. DESU would take the lead and cleanse the rest of the island of Upchuckian life, while shooting down all missiles Upchuck kept sending. All survivors were expelled from their home and taken in for immigration to DESU lands.
A de facto peace was achieved, as Newchuck Island was incapable of further attacks. Many LOLs were had at their expense, as DESU and Shotacon relations grew stronger thanks to this collaboration. Ashamed of his incompetence to protect his people, Gestalt Upchuck withdrew from the public eye. His whereabouts are currently unknown, but it has been speculated that he has been granted asylum by pen Island.
Future
Although our glorious republic has swiftly crushed our enemy with the help of our ally, war is sure to come again.
Until then, we must all do our part to rid the world of Upchuckians wherever they may be sighted.
So, what can you do to help?
Consider the following options:
- Report Upchuckian refugees to the authorities for execution relocation
- Cut ties with relatives or friends of Upchuckian descent
- If you yourself are of Upchuckian descent, do not resist arrest
- Sign up for conscription you might just be needed soon
- Tune in to any news channel it makes no difference, we own all of them
- Follow your government's orders; we are the only truth that matters
And remember, there is no such thing as the Newchuck Genocide. It is complete nonsense, and never happened in the history of ever. EVER!
